How Not to be "THAT GUY" at the Music Festival

Now Playing - Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey

Okay, so maybe you've been to one or two fests, maybe you have never been to one, or maybe you just plain don't get the rules of the game just yet.. either way, this might be a helpful read for you soon-to-be festival goers on how not to be "that guy" when you go to the music festival. These tips will not only make your time more enjoyable, but also might prevent others from standing right in front of you during the performance or sticking their foot out a bit too far as you try to shuffle by.

1.) Smoking. 

I am not precisely talking about cigarettes. My sister and I have witnessed this one time and again. We are both allergic to "mary jane," "the devil's lettuce," "the good stuff," what have you. So, as with the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert of June 2012, we spent half of our time coughing, hacking, and trying to move away from these people. Smoking it is not the bad part, it is noticing people around you doing such things and not even trying to see if you can be a little convenient... it is -everyone's- concert. I know what you may be thinking "I don't see the point? Why should I be trying to make others happy? They can just move." Well, with most festivals, people camp spots, get settled, spread out their blankets and moonmats and get ready to spend a few hours in a very carefully chosen location. They don't want to have to move to avoid a contact high or an allergic reaction. At least -ask- if you are the problem. The biggest point of music festivals is music and -fellowship-. People love the sense of community and caring about your fellow man. 

2.) Drinking!

Ahh, beer and margaritas, we all knew this would be a keystone. As many of you know, 90% of all music festivals are sponsored by AT LEAST one alcoholic beverage company. Bonnaroo has Miller Lite, Firefly has Jack Daniels, Sasquatch has Bacardi and Margaritaville, and Coachella has Heineken. With all of these alcohol manufacturers being big sponsors, of course there will be lots and lots of booze!! Alcohol can make a fun party even better for a lot of people, the only big thing here is be considerate. If you have a cup filled to the brim and you are about to go winding through a big crowd, you might want to drink a little off the top. I cannot tell you how many times I walked around for a day smelling like Eau De Lite Beer. Also, try not to drink so much you throw up. It is not fun sitting there in the middle of a concert and discover what your new neighbor to your left had to eat for lunch. Not the best. Other than that, try and keep on -decent- behavior. Violence kinda ruins the night but everybody loves a little indecent exposure (as long as there are no kids involved, it can be pretty funny). 

3.) Port-a-potties!

This one should be pretty cut and dry. Don't use too much of the public santizer, it runs out quickly and people feel germy for the rest of the day, men, aim well. It shouldn't be that difficult. And don't fling toilet paper any and everywhere. This is not a Girl Talk Concert, it doesn't look as cool when you have to wind through the wreckage like some frat party safari to find your way to the loo.

4.) "LARRY? WHERE ARE YA LARRY?" -- Cheater's Way to the Front!

Okay...so this one is like pirating... it's up to interpretation whether it is wrong or not. Depending on the concert, you may think people are rude for doing it, but you may also do it yourself. Basically, pretending your friend is at the very front of the crowd (How convenient of them to save you a spot for 4 hours camping at the very front near the stage, huh?) even yelling a name sometimes as you bust your way past countless angry fan after angry fan. This can cause such side effects as spilled drinks, angry yelling, and the occasional rude Brazillian chick walking up to you and calling you out (we've had it all done before). Sometimes the artist is worth what you give up in loving communal ambiance... and sometimes you just feel like a son of a biscuit for ruining other peoples' times. 

5.) Have a system worked out for friend location!

It's kind of annoying to be trying to find your friend and have someone in your ear yelling "MICK. MICK. MICK BUDDY? MICK, MICK WHERE ARE YOU?" This is not as much a pestering to other people as it might be to Mick! Don't be that guy. There are many ways people have developed to find each other. Some yell something odd in a Marco Polo fashion (the current epidemic we have seen is people yelling BUTTSCRATCHA in a British Accent.. .rather fun). Some use totems, random sticks with inflatable flamingos or light up monkeys or whatnot. Some wear flourescent clothing, and others (in good signal areas) use Find My Friends app on the iPhone to GPS locate them. Also, having a meet up spot is also a good idea... just make sure yours is original. Don't say "let's meet up at  the big fountain after the Ludacris concert" because everybody else, surely, after the Ludacris concert, will surely be looking for their friends at that very same fountain as well. Sometimes you may lose phones or otherwise, make sure you have this location planned out on the first day!

6.) Don't bring in 17 different bags!

We always get caught in the 4 hour line to get in the music festival and one of the worst people to be behind is, of course, 'that guy'. The guy with the camera bag, the wife's purse, the bookbag, the camelbak, the wallet in the back pocket, the ziploc baggie, and otherwise that security has to look through every...single...one. Next thing you know, 20 minutes later, the poor sap behind you is nearly fainting from dehydration, begging you to just go already. This also goes to show with the random lady with the expensive high-dollar professional grade 'hobby camera'. I have yet to see a music fest that allows them. ANY camera is allowed -except- for those with a detachable lens. You really really really do not want to be the one to make it through 3 hour lines in 98 degree heat to be told "we can hold it for you (no guarantees that it'll be here when you get back), throw it away, or you can take it back to your car.." which is -at least- a lovely 30 minute walk back... Don't let your day get ruined that way. None of us like seeing sad people.

7.) BE A CHEERLEADER!

When my sister and I went to Firefly fest in Dover, Delaware, soon after going to Bonnaroo in Manchester, Tennessee, we were kind of disappointed. The most cheerful people we saw there were 'Roo vets, because the rest were depressed, or seemed too determined to get from one show to another to enjoy the ambiance. Yell random stuff. At bonnaroo it was the token "BonnaROOOOOOO" and then everyone else would go "WOOOOOOO". Seems kinda lame if you read it, but it's the little things that make you so happy to be there. It makes you feel like -family- a big happy dirty music-loving little family. When you are winding through the windy gate thingie to get into the fair grounds, high five the people you pass! My favorite stranger at the fest was this guy with a pickle on a stick that yelled to each person "TICKLE THE PICKLE." Love your neighbors! Strike up conversations with people. You will be amazed at the friends you can make!!

8.) Be polite!

My sister threw in this one! People probably won't care if you try and weave past them or accidentally step on their festival blanket, but you really should say excuse me! It makes a lot of difference. We carry out moon mat with us to every concert (http://www.themoonmat.com/ best purchase ever by the way!), and we have some people that step all over our belongings and don't say the first "excuse me." Most people will be really cool about anything if you ask though. We have people ask every time "can I stand on it? It looks squishy." We call it the 'everybody mat' because we don't care. Just ask before you go prancing around on it with dirty feet. We don't mind if you ask!

9.) If you are 7 feet tall... you might not want to stand near the front, especially in front of the shorties!

My sister is 5'1 (and three quarters so she says) and I'm 5'7. Still much shorter than most of the men who choose to stand right in front of us AND jump up and down! You can see much better than we can, so it might be polite to stand farther back so that most of us can see, or even off to the side. If you do choose to stand right in front of us, be a trooper and take pictures for us if we ask politely? It means the world to us. I am a humongous fan of Two Door Cinema Club, and a really tall guy was right in front of me. He took about 7 different pictures of Alex, Sam, and Kevin for me and I was ecstatic. That guy positively made my day.

10.) LEAVE NO TRACE.

This is advertised by any and every music festival I think known to man, especially Bonnaroo. Nobody wants to have to avoid trash piles to find a place to sit. or end up with their moon mat situated atop your random wad of gum. There is rarely a lacking of trash recepticals. Use them! The entire moment is much more lovely when there's no trash on the ground. If you have a bookbag, empty out the biodegradable contents (if it's a drink) and put it in there, safe and sound, till you are able to reach a trash can. I guarantee it may seem out of your way, but you'll feel better about it and so will everyone else.

Well, those are my top 10 tips on how not to be -that guy- at the music festival. Though others may come with time, those are the top ten that myself and Cha Cha can think of! If I left out any thing intrical or you would like to have your voice heard, message us at Carmen.Laughlin@rocketmail.com, or hit me up on twitter @BelleCoquine! We love feedback! Have a good day and keep rockin out!

xoxo

Karma